Waa-literature ch. 10: Waluigi Snow Hospital

CHAPTER 10: WALUIGI SNOW HOSPITAL PALACE

  “Look, Mr W! The castle!”

  The jungle was behind them, and ahead was a field filled with snow. Just beyond it, they could glimpse Peach’s castle. The sky was completely dark, clogged up by clouds heavy and grey. Every now and then, one would tear open and white flakes drifted down. Starmac stretched himself out from Waluigi’s shoulder and tried grabbing some. They quickly melted on his warm skin.

  “What’s with the snow?” Waluigi immediately hugged himself for warmth, his breath hanging in clouds.

  “It must be another effect of the grey sky: lower temperatures, more snow. If we don’t do something soon, your whole world could freeze over!”

  “And we can’t have that. Who would admire me once I’ve saved the day?” He laughed and slogged on. The blanket across the land was deep and made progress slow. It was no better than the thick water of the jungle, and Waluigi’s face was beet red before long. They had not gone long before he stopped completely. He wiped the snow off a boulder and sat down.

  “I told you to relax some more, Mr W. You used a lot of star power against Eratmus, so it’s only natural you would be drained.” Starmac popped out from under his steamy cap, wiping the sweat from his skin. “Let’s go back to the jungle where we won’t freeze to death while we relax, what do you say?”

  Waluigi waved his hand dismissively. “No, I’m fine, I just need… just need a minute,” he wheezed. “Or maybe five.”

  A biting wind howled down over the snow field.

  “Brr… don’t be too long, Mr W, I think the weather is only getting worse.” Starmac jumped down Waluigi’s coveralls and nestled in the warmth between fabrics. “Either go back, or go forward. We shouldn’t stay here,” he said and peeked out.

  “You have a point, lightbulb.” Waluigi massaged his shivering arms. The way back to the jungle looked inviting. A few snowflakes fell near the trees and instantly evaporated. His feet almost took the first step when curtains of turquoise rent the grey sky. “What’s that?” he asked and froze.

  Starmac was enticed enough to emerge anew, craning his neck. “Those are northern lights! I didn’t know you also had them down here.”

  “Me either. Wahaha! This must be a welcome banner!”

  “I have my doubts.” Starmac pointed an arm up to the sky. “Look at that. I think… I think something might be coming out.” The night sky was visible where the aurora tore the clouds apart, and three meteors fell towards the earth. They corrected their course and streaked across the air, bathed in the blue light.

  “They sure are putting on the works for me.”

  Starmac was free of Waluigi’s coveralls, the cold forgotten. “I think we should follow them, Mr W. This could be a good portent.”

  Waluigi stood bemused, staring entranced up at the natural phenomenon. “Why do you think that?” he asked, but Starmac was already floating off. “Hey, wait up, you.”

  The meteors stopped suddenly, as if checking to see if they were coming. “Can’t you hear them?”

  Waluigi trudged slowly through the deep snow. “Hear what?”

  “Then maybe those meteors… Come on, Mr W, we must not lose them.” The star being eagerly soared, while Waluigi could only hope to keep up. On and on they went, up hills and down again. Starmac and the meteors took him off to the side as the northern lights billowed beautifully above them.

  “This is it!” Starmac finally exclaimed, and Waluigi snapped back to attention. The meteors had landed by rocks barely visible in the snow. “Like I thought.” The meteors were star beings, but somehow Waluigi could see through them. One looked to be female and had a floppy hat, another one was an old male with bushy brows, and the third one had strands of blonde hair still left on his balding head.

  “So who are these jokers?”

  Starmac looked appaled at him. “Mr W, these people are my revered ancestors!” he cried out. “They’re the most honoured of all the old stars; they’re… they’re… who are you guys?”

  “We are the ones who decided to forsake the negative wishes,” the oldest of the stars said. Waluigi recognised him. That was the star from Fastar’s memory. “We do not regret what we had to do, only the way we did it. We caused too much sorrow and pain. That this world is in such a state now is our fault entirely.”

  “Elders, you shouldn’t talk like that! You did only what you had to.”

  “Yeah, you bet it’s your fault,” Waluigi said and pushed Starmac away. “So what are you going to do about it?”

  “Mr W!”

  The female with the floppy hat came forward. “There is not much we can do. Our time has already passed, as have our bodies, yet there might be one single thing. Below us lies a power star. It fell many centuries ago on a stormy night, and no one has yet come to retrieve it. That is our first gift to you,” she said, chewing on her lips as she finished.

  Waluigi knelt down and brushed the snow away. “The first?”

  “Affirmative,” the third star elder said. “While our recollections are not what they used to be, we each do still remember the location of a power star in this general vicinity. They should be a great boon for you in the adversities to come.” Waluigi peeked up. The last star elder looked slightly younger than the rest. Starmac bowed lowed.

  “Thank you, elders, this will certainly be of great help. We’re getting close to the castle and we are losing opportunities to look for any more power stars.”

  The ground beneath the snow was hard and, despite Waluigi’s best pounding and hammering, refused to yield their secrets to him. The female star flicked her arm, and a bright light flashed only a few steps away. Waluigi scrambled towards it and founded a large rock. He dug in his heel and pushed. From a tiny crater underneath, a power star stared up at him, blinking. Waluigi grinned menacingly and grabbed it.

  The old star hovered down before him. “Good, that makes one, but the one that I remember will not be so easy. Now, let’s see… where was it?”

  He, and the other two, zipped up into the sky. The aurora jumped into existence again as three meteors traced lines across the heavens. Starmac eagerly followed them but could reach nowhere near their heights. Instead he remained in Waluigi’s eye height. “Mr W, you need to be more courteous with my elders.”

  Waluigi grumbled as he plodded along. “If it weren’t for them…” he muttered under his breath, adding so that Starmac could hear it, “Do you really think those old geezers know of any more power stars out there?”

  “Those gentlestars most certainly know what they’re talking about.” Starmac puffed himself up, refusing to stay more than a few metres close to Waluigi. “If they say they know where a star is, I… what are they doing now?” The meteors stopped abruptly, hovering for several seconds before turning sharply to the left.

  The capital city came closer as they went down a large slope. The meteors hovered over the roofs, pointing in multiple directions. By the time Waluigi caught up, the elder stars were on the move again.

  Toads were frozen in despair on the streets, slumping up against their bulbous houses or lying collapsed on the streets or in the little parks spread everywhere. Waluigi’s face was serious as he trod in. It was impossible to discern what thoughts brewed under his sweaty brow.

  “Where are they taking us, you think?” Starmac looked around eagerly at the capital city, but Waluigi’s demure mien allowed for no guided tours. He stoically observed as they went down streets, past fashionable shops and restaurants silent in the night.

  They rounded a corner and an enormous building presented itself before them. Reading from the sign arcing across the front, it was the Mushroom Kingdom Hospital. The meteors waited for them by the sliding doors underneath.

  “Long, long ago and far, far away, a power star descended to earth. A brave toad on a journey around the globe came upon years later and kept it as a good luck charm. When this hospital treated him for his fungal infection, he donated the star to them. It’s still here, after all these years, though it’s now forgotten and hid away,” the old star recounted.

  “Hey, this is the joint where that Mario creep sometimes play doctor,” Waluigi said, scratching his cheek. “Wehehe… he never even knew there was a star here, what a loser!” He rubbed his hands gleefully and marched straight ahead. The sliding doors came apart and allowed him entrance. Starmac whooshed in over him.

  Toads in the waiting room drooped, some muttering silently to themselves. Others hugged themselves on the floor, shivering. As it had been day outside when the attack happened, no lights were turned on, and none had been turned on later. Waluigi bumbled around in the darkness, putting his feet down carefully, until the lamps overhead came on. Starmac wailed as flew out from behind the receptionist’s desk. He was pale and quickly hurried up under Waluigi’s cap.

  “We’re not alone in here,” he whimpered from under the safety of the hat. “T-t-there was something back there.” Waluigi shook his head and advanced, but found in the new light that he had a lot of options.

  Corridors leading to patient wards and surgery and radiology and many other things spread out from just the central room. Waluigi scratched his chin contemplatively. “Feel the star from any direction?” he asked, and Starmac cautiously lifted the brim.

  A shadow sprang out from behind the front desk. It stopped to sniff the air, its nose quivering. “There! That’s the beast!” Starmac shouted.

  “That thing?” The animal in question flinched from the noise and skittered off. “That’s just a rabbit.”

  Starmac peeked out again from under the hat. “Your world truly has some despicable beasts,” he replied, shivering. “It jumped me in the darkness as I was looking for the light switch and tried to make off with me. I just barely escaped with my life.”

  “That reminds me of something.” Waluigi rubbed his chin, making a worried sound as he tried to remember something he had once heard. He had not been paying attention, however, and the answer fluttered just outside of his reach.

  “Oh no the beast is getting away what a shame. Oh well, let’s just go in the opposite direction.”

  “Is that where the star is?” Waluigi questioned.

  Starmac was silent, but Waluigi tapped his foot impatiently on the floor. “Well, I get a vague reading from the other end, sort of in the same direction that the beast ran off in.”

  Waluigi set off in his bowlegged gait. The light was not turned on anywhere else, but blinking and flashing equipment spilled light out into the hallways. They passed toads in wheelchairs and nurses prostrate on the floor in the semidarkness. Silently, Starmac emerged from the hat. Reluctantly, he guided Waluigi in the right direction.

  A shadow sprang out from a patient room. It was definitely a rabbit, as its face was illuminated by the star it held between its teeth. Starmac gasped, and the rabbit ran away with a squeak. “That’s the beast again… with the power star!” he exclaimed. “It’s worse than I thought. That little terror must have found it before we could.”

  Another shadow vaulted out, and another one, and another one. Starmac paled and retreated again, missing how they all apparently held power stars in their teeth. Waluigi slowly advanced upon them. The rabbits skittered off in every direction. One tried to get between Waluigi’s legs, but he grabbed it and held it up.

  “Oh, it’s only more disgusting up close! Wait… hold on, is that a power star too? What’s going on, I’m not getting a signal at all!”

  “This is just a night lamp.” Waluigi released the rabbit, but held on to the star. It was made of plastic, but otherwise looked like the real thing. “Wait a minute...”

  Waluigi made a detour inside one of the rooms. Smaller toads lethargically pushed toy cars around, or hugged their knees on the beds. “Children? Ooh, that lousy Negstar! I mean, Fastar… I mean, he’ll pay for this!” Starmac shouted. Waluigi waddled out of the children’s ward again.

  “So where’s the real one?”

  Starmac closed his eyes. “Not far, but this place is a maze. It could be on the other side of a wall that we won’t have any chance of getting through. My best bet is to follow those little monsters and see where their lair is.” He placed himself on top of Waluigi’s cap, flattening himself to not be seen from the ground.

  They could still see the light from battery-powered nightlamps fading all around them. Starmac picked the one going closest to his reading of the power star, and Waluigi gave chase. Down hallways and through waiting areas the glow hovered. Waluigi grumbled as he banged into a couch. Starmac concentrated, and his body glowed weakly. A waiting area.

  Only seconds had passed, and the rabbit was gone. Waluigi took a few tentative steps when he heard the pitter-patter of tiny feet across parquet floors. He renewed his chase, knocking over a carousel and its contents of magazines. “We’re getting close now, Mr W. I can feel the star more strongly.”

  They just caught a glimpse of the rabbit disappearing into a hole dug through the brittle wall. Waluigi turned the corner and found the proper door. Storage was clear in Starmac’s light, written on a label by the knob. Waluigi tried it and found it locked. He planted a foot on it before Starmac could say anything. The frame splintered, and the door swung in. The rabbits raised their heads to see what the commotion was about.

  They had made a whole nest of the nightlamps in one corner, but there was only one real power star. It stood as the crowning piece of the pile, blushing at the attention it was getting.

  “Mine,” Waluigi said and marched into the room. The rabbits squeaked, grabbed a nightlight each, and bolted. Compared to the real thing, the comforting lamps were sharper, and their light duller. “Which one?”

  “That one!”

  Waluigi threw himself at the rabbit, but it leapt through his fingers. Starmac yelped as passed over him and landed on Waluigi’s behind.

  “Come back here!” Waluigi shot up on his feet and set off after it. Several of its fellows joined it. From the distance, and the dim surroundings, ascertaining the true one was impossible. “Lightbulb, keep an eye out,” he commanded, but Starmac clutched to his hat and shivered. One of the rabbits broke off with its loot.

  “Not that one. What do they want the star?” he whimpered.

  The rabbits easily passed under tables that Waluigi had to vault over. Fortunately he had the training and, even with his long legs, managed to not slip up. “Rabbits are mischievous little devils. For some reason, they really like stars,” he explained.

  Another one broke off and disappeared through a half-open door on the right. Only the rabbit with the real star was left. It looked behind and squeaked. Waluigi was gaining ground for every second. The rabbit pounded harder against the linoleum floor. It tried disappearing down an adjacent corridor, but Waluigi slid down on his back and used his momentum to grab the rabbit. It wriggled desperately, but it was caught. Waluigi took the star and sent the bunny on its way.

  “That’s number two in the bag.”

  The star dissolved into pure light and drizzled down on him. For a moment, Waluigi glowed as he laughed triumphantly. “Then let’s get out of here. This place is giving me the creeps, and there could be more of those things around.” Starmac nervously darted his eyes from side to side.

  “Now, which way is out?” Waluigi asked and scratched his head. “This way, probably.” He set out in the opposite direction of the rabbit, confident in himself.

***

  “Nyehehe!” Kamek sat astride his broom, smirking. The only bridge that connected the castle with the town shimmered translucently. In one hand, the magikoopa had a power star, and in the other, his trusty rod.

  With a flick of his magic sceptre, a rip opened in the air. Kamek threw the power star through, and the portal closed. “Waluigi will never get to the castle now, so I’m free to deal with my lord. I swear I’ll figure out what happened to his nastiness and then do something about it.” Kamek stuffed the rod back into the sleeve of his blue robe and directed his broom towards the castle.

***

  “You took your time, Mr Waluigi.”

  The star elders were waiting for them outside the exit they finally found. One of the patient rooms had a door into the garden courtyard. The eldest of the stars hovered just above the parasol on the back porch, with the other two behind him.

  “What’s it to you, eh?” Waluigi grunted and collapsed on a bench. “Give me a minute here.”

  “I’m afraid we don’t have a minute, here or anywhere else.” The third of the stars smoothed back a lock of golden hair at the top of his top appendage.

  “Hey, you’re not the one who had to chase rabbits all over the place.” Waluigi leant back and stretched his long legs. “And getting lost trying to get out,” he mumbled in addition.

  The star put himself in eye height of Waluigi and cleared his throat. “The star being you’re going up against is a much more fearsome opponent than your Bowser. Right now, Starfar is still weak from his slumber, and perhaps manageable, but if you give him time to recuperate, he will destroy you utterly. Is that simple enough for you to understand?”

  “Yes, yes,” Waluigi replied and waved his hand. “Sheesh, where is the next star then?” He got up from the bench and dusted off his legs.

  The star being waved his hand, and the air tore apart. What Waluigi saw through it was a room of grey bricks. “The enemy has conspired to rob us of the only access to the castle. Fortunately, I am able to duplicate his power, and I can thus bring you into this place far removed from our own.” Something fluttered around in the semi-darkness. “In other words, the bridge has been sucked up with a power star. It will be your job to retrieve the latter so that you can rematerialize the former and get across. I cannot promise you that it will be easy, though; the enemy has filled the room beyond with monsters.”

  Starmac floated up to the portal, investigating it from both sides. No matter how hard he tried, the brick room kept floating there in the garden, like a window to another realm. “Can’t be much worse than those rabbits,” he said, shivering. “Shall we, Mr W?”

  Waluigi cracked his fingers and approached. Carefully, he extended his hand. It went through the hole. He lifted his leg next, and was thus halfway in. As nothing else happened, Waluigi swung the other leg inside as well and immediately commenced falling. Starmac gasped and flew in after him without thinking.

  They were up high, but a platform grabbed them before they could reach the floor in the depths below them. Waluigi lay flat on his stomach. The star elder peeked inside the portal just above them.

  “Please hurry,” he warned. “I will give you three, perhaps three and half minutes before you’re noticed. I can only wonder what the enemy will do if you haven’t grabbed the power star before then.” The elder retracted himself. The light from the three of them cast a small cone that Waluigi stood inside.

  The platform was wide enough for Waluigi to comfortably walk along, and easily two more on his sides. Starmac lit up to illuminate their surroundings and kept himself flattened against Waluigi’s head. They could feel the timer count down cruelly. Waluigi ran. They had to find the star on time, and they could see a faint glow far ahead, down by the ground floor.

  Something squeaked. Waluigi paused, and a blue bat swooped down in an arc, barely avoiding his nose. He grabbed Starmac and reached him up. The ceiling was full of bats. With their eyes closed, they looked to be sleeping. Waluigi dared ahead another step. A bat instantly zoomed down. Waluigi jumped back, and the bat barely missed him.

  Starmac wriggled against Waluigi’s tight hold. “So what do we do now?” he asked. “We’ve already spent half a minute.”

  “We make a dash for it.”

  Waluigi sprinted, and a swarm of bats gunned for his head. He shooed them away, but they would not obey him. Occupied, Waluigi missed the edge of the platform and plummeted, out of reach of the bats. He landed on his stomach, knocking the wind out of him. The floor was still below them. They had simply found another platform.

  “One minute,” Starmac warned and hovered down. “I don’t think we’re safe yet, though.” He pointed up. The ceiling followed the height of the platforms, and the bats were as close as ever.

  Waluigi rolled over and got up. “Swoopers,” he grumbled. “They like to live in places like this.”

  They tried again to move forward, but a wall of bats barred them off. They rammed Waluigi and sent him staggering back, open for another swooper to assault him. Waluigi backed away, waving his hands frantically ahead of him. “A minute and a half,” Starmac reminded. “We’re about halfway through our time limit.”

  “This is getting us nowhere. Is there anything else in this cave?”

  Starmac threw himself up into the air, a safe distance away from the attacking swoopers. Warm, yellow light escaped Waluigi in glowing bubbles and joined with Starmac. He was drawing on Waluigi’s power stars. Slowly, Starmac pulsed with light. He took a deep breath, and a mighty flash exploded from his body, completely banishing the darkness. In the few seconds it lasted, Waluigi found exactly what he was looking for. Starmac flopped weakly from the sky, but Waluigi caught him.

  Swoopers attacked, but they were fewer going the opposite way on the platform. Waluigi easily darted from side to side to avoid them.

  “Over… over two minutes, Mr W.”

  “We’ll make it, lightbulb.”

  Waluigi vaulted into the air, slamming into a blue button on the ground below the platform. The air erupted with pops as the swoopers vanished into clouds of smoke. Frantically, Waluigi ran the other way again, towards the glow. He could see it more clearly on the ground. It was definitely a power star, no mistaking that comforting hue.

  They passed under the arch marking the entrance to a small chamber. There were no enemies, and a blanket of quietness fell over the world. The only sound was an ever so slight hum from the power star, raised on a pedestal.

  He took a single step towards it, and the silence was torn apart by a sinister cackle. “That was close. I almost missed a couple of intruders!”

  “Not so fast, beak face.” Waluigi sprinted as the world rapidly faded away. He could see the grass of the courtyard below them. He called upon every ounce of star power in his body and leapt. The power star blinked, not understanding what the commotion was about. Waluigi was almost there. He grinned victoriously as his fingertips grazed the golden skin of the star. “You lose!”

  His feet touched ground again, but he stood in the courtyard of the Mushroom Kingdom Hospital. The power star was his, and its aura was already fading into his body. Waluigi sighed deeply and collapsed on his back.

  “Well done,” the blonde elder said from his perch in the air. “You barely managed to complete my challenge, but complete it you did. This merits at least a modicum of appreciation, though all was well within my expectations. Congratulations.” The star nodded, and his hair flopped into his face.

  Starmac had also returned, and currently hovered above Waluigi. “I think we’ve gathered all the power stars we could,” he said, a smile forming on his lips. “Does this mean we can do it? Can we save both worlds?”

  “Ah, now, young one, that relies entirely on you. The enemy you will face is strong, very strong, but I do not sense his heart in his task,” the eldest of the star elders said.

  The female of them nodded. “He’s doing this because he feels trapped between choices. Make him give up this foolish nonsense and see if you cannot negotiate a new deal with your generation. It is too late, far too late, for us,” she said softly, tiredly.

  “I stipulate you have a good chance of success. You are well-prepared, and your hardships have fortified you,” the blonde star elder said encouragingly. “It all comes down to your power versus your opponents, and what guiles you will each employ. Do not be afraid to use any means necessary.”

  Before anyone could add anything, the star elders shot up into the firmament. The aurora billowed like a flag before dissipating. Momentarily, there was nothing left sans the grey sky.

  “Out of our many ancestors, even among the star elders, only those three came to us. I wonder why.”

  Waluigi sat up. “Eh, who knows?”

  “It certainly couldn’t have been easy for them to come here. It’s been a long time since they, you know… passed on.” Starmac settled on Waluigi’s shoulder as he got up. “I hope you appreciate what they did for us,” he said as they began to move.

  Waluigi did not reply. He found a way out of the hospital area and headed for the castle. A moat separated it from town, but only the supports for a stone bridge remained. Waluigi extended his hand, and the bridge reappeared.

  They had finally arrived.